I

I.......I have way too many things goin on at one time. Things to tha point to where my head pounds and thumps. Recently i've a fever, with no other problems other than my head. I.......I need to cut back.......back on games, back on people...back on cobblar (aka coochie). Valerie pointed something out today....she said at one point she was date'n 5 guys n felt.....complete. Because without them she felt she was missing something......5......thas 5 guys n she felt complete...I talk to atleast 10 different girls n still feel as tho nothing as changed.....I thought all I was missing was tha physical.....now i have that and it's only worse. I'm hold her wishing it was Aubry.....my foundation.....whom without I think tha Tim who you know today would be a distant memory, soon to be forgotten.......I talk to people only wishing it was Vetta here and not who ever is talkin........I laugh at stupid stuff only wishin Rere was around to hear it cause she'd be laughin to....And when ever sume one wants to comfort me.....I wish it was Crystal, because as long as we've known each other, all we've done is had each others backs.....I.....I'm lost, Vetta says one thing one nite, then says sume else tha other.....first we connect, now I've always made her irritated....my head still hurts, this pounding and thumping. Tha ignorant irritating voices shoutin over tha game increases tha pulses.........tha pulses.......will they ever stop.......wut exactly have i done.......wut have i gotten myself into........more girls.........more problems......more pain....tha pounding and thumping...........Y!?!?!........Y I GOTTA BE THA CENTER OF ATTENTION, YET STILL OVA LOOKED......Y CAN I READ SO MANY PEOPLE YET NO ONE CAN READ ME..........AM I THAT COMPLEX OR ARE PEOPLE JUST THAT SLOW...........I.....I can't take it anymore....my head....tha confusion.........3 years.......can I make it....can my mind make it............I..............I................me

Alot on mind

Check it......i gotta get this shit outta my thoughts sume how

It's like this, Lil mama like me. She like me like me to tha point she thought she could be inlove wit me...Lil mama introduced me to ReRe......ReRe introduced me to Vetta, and through Vetta came Troy and Ayo. Now keep in mind during all this i'm engaged to Aubry and everyone knows but Lil mama (i think lol) Soooooo me n ReRe start talkin, and we gettin cool, late nite talks, fallin asleep on tha fone, good laughs, and comforting. It was me comforting her mostly, cause i don't let ppl come to my aid. Thas how me n CJ lost contact for a month (CJ is Lil mama cousin) Now, i was talkin to Rere, Vetta, Troy, CJ, and of course Aubry all durning tha same period. But Aubry and i talked less frequently than others due to her being n college n wut not. Yea i started to think she ain't want me n it was all a lie. But CJ was my faith n strength when mine was gone. Now Rere and Vetta don't think Aubry loves me, now it might not seem all to complicated yet, but just wait..........Rere tells me she loves me, wait, correction, she's IN love with me. Big diference, big meaning big upcoming mistake. So she's inlove with me....ok cool rite? Nope not at all, it's hard enough to deal and believe that tha girl I'VE been inlove with is in love with me too and has been for almost as long as i've been inlove with her......now this new chick say she inlove wit me too! So i did wut anyother nigga in my place thas not used to this woulda done...push her tha fuck away lmao evil? No not at all. I felt like she lied to me, i mean how u gon love me? I mean honestly,